-ask clients if brain rental is a standard monthly expense
-try to strangle self or others with phone cord
-or even pretend to do so
-answer the phone while cracking gum and saying in a nasal voice ‘Opratah, how my I direct yer cawl?”
-Animal husbandry
-Amateur pancreatic transplants
-Ukrainian belly dancing
-do the Umpa Lumpa Dance in the break room
-Cannot sing the munchin songs from Wizard of Oz
-nor to the dances
-skip down the halls when head hancho management is around
-play my drum on the call center floor(management really frowns on this)
-give people new names, even though we find it funny
-answer the phone while whistling
-or while calling someone a twit
-have more than one peice of cake
-no more than one water bottle of iced coffee a day (rarely happens)
-cheer when the computers go down
-sob when they come back up
-ask managers if I can hold weekly chair races in the halls of the building
-try and ride a chair into the elevator
-no more pushing more than one button on the elevator at a time
-no standing on the desks to shout at someone across the call center
-no rolling around in my chair because I’m too lazy to stand up
-no more paper airplanes, people get paper cuts
-no more researching about tweezers (which comes from the French word etui..just so you know)
-no more frosting!
-don’t play with the barnyard animal toys, people are trying to work!
-no more playing Tweezerman!
-asking if we can go home yet because it has been over an hour since your last call
-change my phone status more than 5 till midnight
-no making rubber band balls and using mini paper binders to play jacks
-work related questions ONLY
-cannot call clients idiots
-cannot tell client’s that they are morons for trying to go against federal law and ‘beat the system’
-cannot scream ‘NO THEY DIDN’T’ when client’s say ‘well my attorny told me all of this already’
-cry ‘mercy’ into the phone
-answering the phone ‘Taco, Taco…how my I help you?’
-scream and pled in the middle of the session for the managers to not kill you and you’ll be a good child
…I’m sure I’ll come up with more down the road..heh
Well did they say anything about
-Pick up the phone and as you say hello start doing a impression of the restaurant scene in Harry Met Sally.
-Answer calls with ‘Jimbob did you get my sister’s name off that water tower?’
-Answer calls that have a husband and wife with “Oh, Mr. (insert name) I see you brought your wife this time. So we can drop this act and get to curing your crabs?”
-No playing the wikipedia drinking game.
-No playing drinking games.
-Clip toe nails while on the phone and comment on how bad the gunk is.
-Ask clients if they spent all their money on really freaky porn.
-Find people to comment on your blog with better lines than these.